OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
the gays at disneyland are vicious
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
