he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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