Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
