i don't like sucking hair
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
