this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
My vagina just clenched in fear
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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