Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
3 2 1 whiskey
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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