started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
