omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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