i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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