I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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