My first STD was from a foam party
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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