how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
