Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
