matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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