Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
