i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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