Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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