The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
