Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
