also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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