used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
