i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
