1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
