LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
