if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
from now on my penis is your penis
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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