I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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