UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
