I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
