yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
