I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
