Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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