Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
