i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
