omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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