i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
