So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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