But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
