Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
