Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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