As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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