He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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