it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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