dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
my being single is dangerous.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
