i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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