Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
