Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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