i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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