omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
