Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
