I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
