No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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