Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
