So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
