i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
