I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
What drink are we having for lunch?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
