question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
