Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
