I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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