Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
